Thursday, September 8, 2011

Who wants to come help move furniture?

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When we first moved into this house I loved everything. The white kitchen cupboards. The black sink and faucet. The wall color. The carpet. Everything.

And everything looked good.

Well of course it did, it was all only a year old. It hadn't met vomiting children. Artistic children. It hadn't met a dog with an upset stomach and a serious hair loss problem. It also hadn't met cats. Cats with claws. Sharp ones. And when those went missing, teeth.

Out of all the calamities that this house has met, the carpet was no match for the cats.

You see, the cats didn't like getting stuck in the bedrooms. They were smart cats. They knew that if their human underlings heard a certain sound, they would come running. That frustrating door that was keeping them from their kibble would open and life would be alright again. What was that sound? Oh, it was only the sound of Berber carpet, the bane of my existence, ripping up, one pop of carpet loop at a time. Lovely.

We attempted to stop the problem quickly. We had them declawed. Bastards were wrecking my carpet. Turns out those bastards weren't just cute and cuddly, they were devious and smart. What happens when you don't have claws to make that certain sound to make your human underling come running? You use your teeth.

Are you picturing toothless cats right now??  Okay, how about I just show you this picture instead.

Exhibit A:

This is the doorway to our room. Isn't it special?

Exhibit B:

This is the entry way to all three upstairs bedrooms. Every last bedroom looks like this. For the last five years.

People, don't install Berber. Ever. Please.

So, after the four thousand dollar cats moved out to my mom's, you would think we would have replaced the carpet.  And we would have liked to, really. We pondered. We delayed. We lived through three little kids having the flu all at once. We potty trained. We got a dog that loses more hair than Ryan. We pushed our computer chairs in and out until the carpet got a couple of creases in it. We steam cleaned and then watched the stains reappear after the carpet dried. Basically, Life happened.

This summer we went to the carpet store and brought home samples. The furthest we've gotten ever in the whole carpet replacement scheme. Ugh, is it ever hard to pick out a color and commit. I have commitment phobia. Now was the time. We had the cash. We had a list. We had to actually decide on something. Then we delayed a little longer.

This last weekend though, we did the deed.

Oh, are you gasping over sticker shock?? Those four thousand dollar cats were actually $6000.00 cats. Awesome ain't it.

You should actually be impressed I picked a carpet color.

I can't wait for it to be installed. We've had a no-cats rule for a year or so. The dog has promised me he'll brush more. The kids are old enough to run to the bathroom. But the best part????

The store we went to has a no-questions asked 60 day replacement warranty if you don't like your carpet for any reason.

Now that's perfect for a commitment-phobe like me!

1 comment:

  1. Oh my GODDDDD now I hate cats even more. Sell their meat to Korea & make some carpet cash back.


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